Ask yourself this question:
"Right now, what is my truth?"
If you draw a blank, make it more specific:
“What do I want for myself right now?”
“What does my body need right now?”
“What would feel good to do right now?”
“Who do I want to be with right now?”
“What action can I take now that feels connected to something I want for my future?”
Then feel inside your body.
And wait.
See what comes up.
Wait for a definitive sensation.
Is it a “HELL YES!”...
...a MAYBE?
...or a “NO?”
I have something for you to consider:
You have an inner wisdom. Deep inside, a part of you always knows your truth.
And I want you to find that part - and get to know what it feels like in your body.
It might say “yes” with a light, pleasurable energy through your mid-section.
It might lead naturally to a smile.
It might create a comfortable, relaxed sensation of well-being all over.
It might create a feeling of motivation to act, to do something aligned with one of your aims.
It might say “no” with a constriction in your gut, or an uneasy feeling.
It might bring up anxiety or tension in your body.
It might just feel like a deep “knowing” that this isn’t right for you.
It might create an “empty” feeling through the center of your body.
Allow it to come. Trust what shows up.
Don’t think about it, FEEL IT.
Then, once something seems clear enough, pause.
Give it space in your mind and body. Allow it time to either shift or plant itself deeper.
At some point, you will feel a part of you that knows: “This is my truth…”
…and then decides “I will follow this path.”
Hooray! Celebrate this deep knowing.
But you are not done yet.
There are some potential pitfalls and confusions that come as you embark on this path.
Most of us need to learn how to decipher “truth” signals to make sure they are coming from actual truth and not from some other source.
Sometimes what we think is a deep, embodied truth is really just a misleading product of our minds.
Usually these mental red herrings come from the past. Seemingly they are truths, but really they are the imagined antidotes for painful episodes we experienced when we were younger.
For example, I might think my "truth" is to become rich and famous.
While it's possible that this is my true life's calling, it could also be that making this a life aim is really a way to mask awareness of the pain of growing up without the attention I wanted.
Similarly, society’s deep programming about what is best for us, or what it means to be of value, can be disguised as "truth." As a child I might see how most of the men portrayed in magazines have giant arms and 6-pack abs.
This might take me down a path of working hard to attain these attributes, because I believe this is what it means to be a man of value.
It can take a lot to filter out the noise that obscures the awareness of our own, unique truth.
We have to listen deeply to sense the voice of our own true self.
This voice is deep inside you. It is in your body.
It is your own truth, and nobody else's.
If this seems hard to believe, suspend disbelief and try practicing feeling it as if it really is in your body.
The key is FEELING the truth, not letting the thinking mind get too involved, and remembering that in every situation YOU ALWAYS HAVE A DEEP TRUTH.
The more you connect with that truth, the better your life will get, even if it seems dangerous in the short run.
When it comes to following our truth, we need a long game.
I contend that the only way to find our truth is to courageously follow, often in the face of fear, what SEEMS to be our truth, to the best of our ability, and then learn from how things play out.
We can learn to refine our awareness of our deep truth by taking the risk of following what our bodies say about our truth and then seeing what happens.
Sometimes fear gets in the way of knowing and moving toward our truth. We might fear that if we follow our truth it will disrupt relationships or create financial problems.
We have to eventually get to the place where we can trust that following our truth is always best for everyone.
I like to say “truth is better than happiness.” When truth does not lead to contentment right away, we have to trust that in the long run it will always be what is best.
Sometimes this means pain for ourselves and others.
If our truth is at odds with a current situation and pain will likely come out of following it, we have to trust that this pain is both inevitable and productive... and ultimately will benefit everyone involved.
I was in a beautiful, 7-year relationship with a woman that ended in mid-2023. We had been stuck in patterns that impacted our sex life and our relationship lacked the depth and intimacy we both wanted.
We knew we were stuck, but we didn’t know how to change it.
For many years, out of fear of impacting the relationship in negative ways, I would avoid thinking about my own needs (i.e. my truth).
Deep down I knew that if I paid attention to my own needs, it could bring up conflict between us.
Things were “good enough” in many ways between us, even though we could agree things were not where we wanted them to be. And even though we knew this, we stayed stuck - out of fear of having the tough conversations.
I remember the point at which I started taking my own desires and truth seriously. I slowed down and let myself pay attention to the sensation in my body.
It said “things can not stay the way they are.” It felt like a deep, powerful aching in my belly.
Addressing this with my partner felt like stepping out onto a cold, windy platform with a 1,000 foot drop beneath my feet. Having this conversation would be like stepping right off of that platform.
It felt like life or death. I felt that fear deep in my body.
In order to take that leap, I would have to accept that bringing this up to her could actually end the relationship. It MIGHT not, but I would have to take the risk that is COULD end the relationship.
Why would I do this then?
I would be doing it…
…for the sake of truth.
For my truth, and OUR truth.
It wasn’t working the way it was.
So I did it. I made a firm gesture with my partner that we needed to either work on what was coming up between us actively and courageously, or break up. I took the risk.
What happened? This started a period of the most earnest, loving, and truthful communication that we had in our relationship to that point.
These conversations were SO hard. We actually faced together, with trepidation, the feeling of imagining together that all of what we had cultivated together over the course of 7 years could end.
And then...
...we did break up.
Seeing her go on that final day was the hardest thing I had ever done.
And then, something amazing happened.
I started feeling differently about myself.
Amidst the deep, daily grief of losing this beautiful relationship, was a part of me underneath that starting trusting myself more.
I could feel the deep truth that breaking up was what was needed.
AND, I started to feel a deep knowing that if I followed my truth, and our truth, that either I would end up with her again (after a considerable break), or I would find someone else that would work better for me.
The fear subsided.
It was the fear of never finding someone, of not trusting my own path of truth, that kept me locked in a pattern of fear and scarcity that would never serve me, or anyone else.
Trusting my truth changed everything.
Nothing is more powerful than truth.
Our task is to lock into it - to develop our capacity to connect with it and then courageously follow it.
It may take us away from what we think we want or need. It may lead us into panic, fear, terror, and deep grief.
But it always leads us to more of who we are. Because the truth of who you are is just that: the TRUTH.
You can’t avoid it. You can’t hide from it. You can’t bypass it.
AND when you are more connected to YOUR truth, you will elicit in others more of THEIR truth. This is especially the case in close relationships. The truth serves everyone involved.
It might be that what I am saying feels true to you on some level, but feels hard to access.
When we get heavily invested in our careers, our relationships, our kids, and anything else that we have made a big part of our lives, it is harder to stay connected to the deep, quiet voice of truth inside of us.
There is no right or wrong about this. All one can do is pledge to take some time to connect to their embodied, intuitive truth a bit each day, and see what happens.
You might eventually find yourself in a situation like I did, where truth leads to challenging decisions that change the course of your life drastically.
Or, it might help you choose the most delicious and nourishing item on the menu at tonight’s dinner.
Following truth does not mean that you are necessarily searching for permanent landing spots for your major life aims.
It does mean that you stay connected with the process of finding your truth, and take it seriously.
Then, allow yourself to let go of control. Trust that your continued connection to your embodied truth center will take you where you need to go.
Whatever the situation, keep in mind that you have a deep inner wisdom that knows what your truth is.
Locate it, connect with it, and trust it.
Then let the learning begin. Stay on this path.
It will ALWAYS lead you where you TRULY want to go.
Stay connected to your truth, my friend.
Quite sincerely,
