Through my late 40’s, I struggled with my sexuality.
Performance anxiety, tension, difficulty controlling my arousal and ejaculation, periods of shame and confusion, lack of confidence… the list goes on and on.
Would 25 year-old Dan have admitted this to himself? What about 39 year-old Dan, even?
Nope.
I didn’t even know I was struggling. I was completely unaware. Afraid to face the truth. In denial.
Confused AF, frozen, and so clueless I didn’t even know to look for help.
On the rare occasions that I allowed myself awareness of the problem, I felt isolated, alone, and hopeless that any answers were out there. I didn’t want to admit to anyone that this was a problem for me.
So, I put my head back underground and cycled from relationship to relationship with no signs of healthy and fulfilling sex to be found.
I was completely caught in the toxic remnants of conditioning that went back to early childhood.
On top of this early conditioning were layers of habits and patterns that I developed as a young child, then an adolescent, then a young adult…
…and then an adult in the prime of his life. I was still caught in sexual patterns that left me feeling shameful, tentative, unfulfilled, and frustrated.
It left my sexual partners unfulfilled and frustrated, too.
And none of us had the understanding or courage to talk about it.
Now, relationships have the ability to wake us up out of these patterns if we pay attention.
It took many years, but eventually, things came to a head.
I was in a very loving, beautiful relationship with an amazing woman for a few years, when the sex ran out of gas.
I loved her SO much, and we were planning to get married, buy a house, and start the rest of our lives together… but we couldn’t regain the sexual fire that seemed to be so strong during that early and ephemeral honeymoon period of the relationship.
The powerful chemical bliss-haze of early relationships can occasionally mask sexual problems that are certain to surface later – this was certainly the case with us.
I don’t remember exactly, but I am imagining that I was happy that she seemed just fine with the mediocre sex that we were having due to my lack of skill and presence, chalking it up to the acquisition of the type of unconditional love of which I’d always dreamed.
“She seems to be fine with it!” my unconscious child-pig must have exclaimed to himself.
Until she wasn’t.
And that is understandable. I was a sexual novice with a laundry list of sexual issues and blocks.
I never took the time to really learn how to be skillful and artful in sex. I didn’t even know that was a thing.
Sex education never taught me anything about what it means to really enjoy sex and bring that enjoyment to a partner, and porn reinforced my naïve beliefs even more.
We tried sex therapy, tantra workshops, energy work… anything we could get our hands on to solve the problem. These helped some; at least they started to open me up to new ideas and possibilities, but the sexual stalemate continued.
Here’s where it gets good. My struggles with my partner pushed me to do a deep dive on my own PERSONAL sexuality as part of our efforts to save our relationship.
In a pivotal time for me, I started studying with a Taoist master to learn Sexual Kung Fu. This was the beginning of a journey that had me devouring all of the sources of sexual wisdom I could find.
And then, in January 2021, I committed to a journey of semen retention and daily self-pleasure and edging practice, fueled by all of the knowledge I had gleaned on the subject to that point. Over the next 4 years, I stayed strong in my commitment to this path.
Sadly, in August of 2023, my partner and I decided to consciously uncouple. Our sexual problems were not the only reason we decided to part ways, and despite the sexual skills I had gained in the previous two years, we were not able to reignite our sex life.
This was heartbreaking. I loved this woman SO much, and despite our love for each other, we had to say goodbye. Parting with her was the hardest thing I’d ever done.
I also knew that it was right, and I trusted my path to find a relationship that would work for me. I stayed committed to refining my sexual skills and presence so that I could bring this to my next relationship.
Here’s the main thrust of what I am telling you:
It was my commitment to this path of semen retention and daily self-pleasure practice that led me to discover and consolidate for myself the 10 main areas of skill required for Sexual Self-Mastery for Men.
These 10 skills are:
1. Spacious Presence
2. Relaxation
3. Breathing
4. Moving Sexual Energy
5. Pelvic Floor Dexterity
6. Movement
7. Vocalization
8. Addressing Sexual Blocks
9. Mindsets
10. Slow Down
During my exploration, I found that none of the sources I was accessing on these topics seemed to capture enough detail on ALL of the main areas I was finding to be important for ANY man to master their personal sexuality.
So, I created what I believe is the most comprehensive guide out there to help a man master their own sexual body and mind.
I believe that in order for a man to show up fully for a sexual partner, he needs to first show up fully for himself.
He needs to master his own sexuality first. And that is what my offerings are all about.
They are about YOU and YOUR body. YOU and YOUR sexuality.
I want to help men master their own sexuality and become completely content in their sexual life WITH THEMSELVES. This foundation is imperative for a man to create the juicy sex life he wants to have with a partner.
I want to help as many men as possible, especially young men, know that there are resources to help them get past anything that prevents them from having the amazing and fulfilling sex life they desire and deserve.
I want to spare them the pain that I experienced and help them create possibilities in their sex lives that they never thought possible.
If you are one of those men....
Get Started with my FREE eBook
Wishing for you, dear reader, that all of your sexual dreams come true.
Yours,
